Monticello, FL (Jefferson County News) – The Lombardi Division was exposed this weekend at two of their playoff entrants were bounced in Round One of the 2010 NFFL Playoffs. The Monticello Cornish Hens sent the defending NFFL Champion North Florida Seersuckers home with an 88-79 win. “The win just confirms that the South will not rise again in 2010!” said a jubilent Tyler “U.S. Grant” McNeill. The victorious Hens move onto Round Two of the playoffs and will face their hated rival, the Lamont All Stars.
Following the loss the North Florida Seersuckers lounged on the veranda of their team offices sipping mint juleps. “The loss hurts, but the bourbon numbs the pain” said ‘Seers quarterback Michael “Bulldog” Vick as he admired the soon-to-be passed on NFFL Cup. “I’m saddened by the loss. Three players posting a fat goose egg hurt us badly. However, next year I vow to spend less time with my family and more time managing my affairs” said ‘Seers owner Mike “Beauregard” Bonfanti.
In the other match-up of the weekend the Southwood Dolphins downed the Tallahassee Terrors 72-51. The Dolphins’ win was the franchise’s first in the NFFL Playoffs and was fueled by an unorthodox defense instituted by Dolphins’ defensive coordinator Troy “Similac” Ruben. “I’m proud that my newborn son out-schemed the Terrors” said Seth “The Sickle” Ruben.
Terrors’ owner Brian “Bear” Hunter was unavailable for comment following the loss and issued a statement from the team’s headquarters in Huntsville, Alabama. “The Terrors refuse to admit defeat and plan to take the field next weekend against the Eagles. A Hunter always gets his beer, and the Terrors will get their Championship!” Several paragraphs of the statement also alluded to a recipe for a ham omelet and a Zen approach to knitting. These paragraphs were omitted by the NFFL office.
Round 2 of the 2010 NFFL Playoffs
#5 Southwood Dolphins vs. #1 Golden Eagles
#6 Monticello Cornish Hens vs. #2 Lamont All Stars