Hilliard Flashes Scuttle Pirates

Nassau County Record (Hilliard, FL) -Days after being announced as the NFFL’s tenth franchise the Fernandina Pirates have rebranded as the Hilliard Flashes.  The NFFL Office indicated it had not received confirmation of the name of Becky Bonfanti’s team before issuing various press releases.  “It was a bit premature on our part and resulted from a breakdown in communication. We apologize for any confusion this mistake caused” said NFFL spokesperson Dana Perino.

“I’m a Hilliard girl and I wanted the team to reflect my roots” said Flashes owner Becky “Steel Magnolia” Bonfanti.  It was noted Fernandina Pirates were selected by the team’s general manager Mason Bonfanti, without her approval.  “He loves pirates, and I’m proud he took some initiative, but we’re the Flashes!” Mrs. Bonfanti noted as she poured over pre-draft rankings.

The NFFL’s newest franchise will sport a red helmet with a lightning bolt and play its home games at Mitchell L. Bandy Stadium.  The stadium is located near Tompkin’s Landing and features a unique wrap around porch where fans can deposit their hunting dogs and rifles before watching the game.   “People think it’s easy to just leave your dog and head to a game. It ain’t easy, and I’m glad the Flashes are being innovative” said an unidentified member of the Conner family.


One response to “Hilliard Flashes Scuttle Pirates

  1. Holy shit, I am laughing my ass off!

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