All Stars Gut Nimrods

Reams Radio Network  (Lamont, Florida) –  Before a standing room only crowd at Alan Boyd Field the Lamont All Stars tracked down their first win of the 2011 season by defeating the Miccosukee Nimrods 118-97.  “I thought that it would come down to turnout,” said All Stars Politician-In-Chief Kirk Reams.  “Our get into the end zone efforts were better than Miccosukee’s and that proved to be the difference.”  The All Stars now stand at 1-1 on the season in 4th place of the Tagliabue Division.

The loss hit Joe “Pierogi” Zollner hard and he was unavailable for comment immediately following the game.  A report later surfaced indicating Zollner suffered a concussion, cracked rib and punctured lung when he assaulted a beer vendor who short changed him during the second half of game.  As a result of his organization carrying cut rate insurance Zollner was transported to Owens Animal Hospital in Perry, Florida for care.  He is reported to be in stable condition and resting comfortably with various squeaky toys.

The Southwood Dolphins pushed their record to 2-0 with a 143-106 defeat of the Slippery Rock Tortfeasors.  Following the loss the Tortfeasors revealed plans for an invasion of Southwood and specifically the Dolphins’ team offices. “The people of Southwood yearn to be free and ruled by a man with an iron first in a velvet glove. That man is me, and their dreams will come true,” said Mike “Il Duce” Haire in full field general regalia atop his antique Fiat-Ansaldo M11/39 tank.

Energy Blaster 3000 NFFL Scoreboard

Seersuckers 102
Golden Eagles 89

Terrors 136
Marauders 97

Flashes 75
Cornish Hens 84

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