Seersuckers Dispatch Marauders

UPI (Aucilla, FL) – The season of woes continued for the Mootown Marauders as they lost for the fourth straight week falling to the North Florida Seersuckers 126-122.  “We can’t do anything right! Even wearing new shoes won’t cheer me up this week.  I think Geoff may have to get the axe,” said Marauders Owner Kirsten “Pumped Up Kicks” Matthis.  For the Seersuckers the win was sweeter than the tea at O’Neil’s and pushed their record to 4-1.  “Beating the Marauders was a thing of beauty, kind of like this mint julep I have in my hand,” said ‘Seers Owner Mike “Saddle Shoes” Bonfanti.

The Hilliard Flashes won their second game of the season edging out the terrors 79-75.  Before the game all Miss Hilliard High Schools from 1937 to the present were recognized and presented with commemorative busts of Flashes owner Becky “Wrist Hand Wave” Bonfanti made out of pulp wood. An unidentified member of the Connor family tried to run onto the field and contest the results of the 1993 pageant.  However, she was subdued by the Flashes Security Team of Tanya “The Bomb” Miller and Angie “Drop Kick” Smith.

In Week 4’s late game the Miccosukee Nimrods rallied to boil the Cornish Hens 83-77. The win moves the Nimrods to 3-2 and into third place in the highly competitive Tagliabue Division.  “How do you like them apples? No one gave us a chance against the defending champs and we kicked ’em in the teeth!” said a fired up ‘Rods Owner Joe “Streusel” Zollner, as he led his team in a traditional Polish victory song.

Energy Blaster 3000 NFFL Scoreboard

Tortfeasors 115
Golden Eagles 61

Dolphins 137
All Stars 77

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