Flashes Upset Nimrods

Nassau County Record (Hilliard, FL) – In front of a sold out Mitchell L. Bandy Stadium the Hilliard Flashes pulled the upset of the NFFL season by defeating the Miccosukee Nimrods 94-91.  As the final seconds ticked off the clock the crowd stormed over the railings, ripped the goal posts down and celebrated. “After losing our mascot Cricket this win is just what this franchise needed! I’m headed to Kings Bar to celebrate!” said Flashes Director of Player Personnel Mike Bandy.   The loss drops the Nimrods to 7-4 and places them in a tie for the Tagliabue Division lead. “Losing to a girl is unacceptable. Once I finish my plate of delectable galumpkis I am canning our head coach,” said Nimrods’ owner Joe Zollner.

In another Tagliabue clash the Southwood Dolphins defeated the Monticello Cornish Hens 85-74.  The win moves the Dolphins a 1/2 game ahead of the Hens and into a first place tie with their hated rival, the Miccosukee Nimrods.  “We’re the best team in this division and will prove it by any means necessary,” said Dolphins TE coach Doug Mankiewicz.  Next weeks’ game against the Nimrods now looms large as it will likely determine which team wins the division and earns a coveted first round bye.

In Lombardi Division action the Mootown Marauders defeated the Tallahassee Terrors 73-60.  Coupled with the Seersuckers’ and Tortfeasors’ losses the victory places the Marauders in sole possession of first place.  “I’m not saying she shouldn’t be proud of her team, I’m just saying she’s not winning the right way. Don’t quote me on that,” said Eagles’ owner, Tom Criss, who wished to remain nameless

Energy Blaster 3000 NFFL Scoreboard

Eagles 121
Seersuckers 86

All Stars 106
Tortfeasors 71

Subway Fresh Take NFFL Standings

Mootown Marauders 7 4 0 .636
North Florida Seersuckers 6 5 0 .545 1
Slippery Rock Tortfeasors 6 5 0 .545 1
Golden Eagles 5 5 1 .500 1.5
Tallahassee Nitro Terrors 2 8 1 .227 4.5
Miccosukee Nimrods 7 4 0 .636
Southwood Dolphins 7 4 0 .636
Monticello Cornish Hens 6 4 1 .591 0.5
Lamont All Stars 4 6 1 .409 2.5
Hilliard Flashes 3 8 0 .273 4

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