Tallahasee Democrat (Tallahassee, FL) – The Mootown Marauders capped an unbelievable season as they captured NFFL VI with a 111-96 victory over the Southwood Dolphins. Prior to the 2011 season the Marauders defined NFFL futility as they never had a winning season and were a combined 10-43 all time. “I really cannot put into words how much this win means for the Marauders, but I will try. It means I am number one and get the NFFL Cup for an entire year. It also means I can taunt the Eagles’ owner for losing to a girl. It also means I can look really cute as I drink the tears of the vanquished from the Cup following my victory parade!” said Kirsten “Balls of Steel” Matthis.
Marauders GM Geoff “Lead Pipe Lock” Gonzalez celebrated high above the locker room at Level 8 with an ice cold Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA. “I was hired to do a job, to win the NFFL Cup, and I did it. I take satisfaction in knowing I ruined a lot of peoples’ year by helping Kirsten to victory. To anyone who think the Marauders do not deserve the Cup I’ll offer up some advice, try harder to beat us in 2012 suckers!” Gonzalez refused to address the media following these brief comments and indicated he was looking forward to assisting the Marauders in 2012 if his contract was renewed.
For the Southwood Dolphins it marks the third straight season of failing to win the NFFL Cup. However, rather than being bitter Dolphins’ owner Seth “Wait Till Next Year” Rubin was gracious in defeat. “We had a good season. I wanted to win but due to injuries during the game things didn’t work out as I would have liked. We’ll use the off season to reasses our approach to managing the Dolphins and look to repeat as Tagliabue Division Champions in 2012.”
At press time the NFFL Cup was being transported to the league office. Upon arrived the official engraver, Tim “The Machine” Yoho, will update the Cup to add the Marauders and Matthis’ names. Stay tuned to NFFL.com for live coverage of the Cup Presentation.