The Royal Gazette (Hamilton, Bermuda) – The 2012 NFFL Winter Meetings were recently held from March 1st through March 15th in the beautiful capital of Bermuda, Hamilton. Due to the recession and a desire to appear fiscally responsible not all owners were able to attend. The entire contingent consisted of NFFL Commissioner Mike Bonfanti, NFFL Spokeswoman Pattie Ann Brown, and Miccosukee Nimrods owner Joe “Potato Vodka” Zollner who was selected for his ability to consume mass quantities of distilled spirits while remaining relatively upright.
“Times are tough and we didn’t want our fans to think we’re living high off the hog.” said Commissioner Bonfanti. He noted the group’s accommodations were “only four stars” and they included a free continental breakfast. “Eating cold cereal while in a beautiful tropical paradise shows the NFFL understands the commoners’ concerns.” quipped Ms. Brown as she sampled her seared sea scallops at the Waterlot Inn.
As for addressing league business it was conducted in one fifteen minute closed door session in a beach cabana. While some league owners have expressed concern about not being included Ms. Brown noted they all “had Skype and the internets.” When asked to specifically address plans for the 2012 season, including whether the league would expand, Commissioner Bonfanti completely dodged the question. “We got great tans, drank delicious rum, and talked about the league for a solid ten or eleven minutes. What else do you want?” he noted while sipping a Planter’s Punch. Joe Zollner who was largely indisposed and unavailable for comment during the fifteen days of the Winter Meeting skipped the closing press conference to tour Gosling’s facility and issued a one line statement that read “I love dark rum!”