The 2012 NFFL Draft Order Selection Show


Tallahassee Democrat (Tallahassee, FL) – The draft order for the 2012 NFFL Draft was determined this morning.  The order was selected by blind draw.  The selection process was video taped by the NFFL’s own production crew.  “The saying you get what you pay for is true.  Mason “Scorsese” Bonfanti and Julia “Gone With the Wind” Bonfanti  did a less than stellar job.  They cut off the top of my head, added their own commentary, and shot at an angle that makes me look fat.” said a distraught Commissioner Bonfanti who consoled himself with a pulled pork sandwich.

In spite of the less than professional video production the order for the 2012 NFFL Draft is as follows:

1. New Canaan Chrebets
2. North Florida Seersuckers
3. Hilliard Flashes
4. Slippery Rock Tortfeasors
5. Southwood Dolphins
6. Miccosukee Nimrods
7. Golden Eagles
8. Lamont All Stars
9. Monticello Cornish Hens
10. Mootown Marauders

Immediately following the release of the draft order William “Mr. Met” Kristoph contacted the NFFL Offices and requested his name be engraved on the NFFL Cup. “I’ve got one thing to say! Ken O’Brien will be our first pick.  Also, championship!” Kristoph exclaimed as he doused himself in Knickerbocker beer.

On a less than positive note, following the release of the draft order there were allegations of tomfoolery and shenanigans by Joe “Warsaw” Zollner.  “The Commish got the second pick last year and he got it again this year.  I’m not saying it’s rigged, but it’s apparent the NFFL hates Polish people.” The owner of the Golden Eagles echoed Mr. Zollner’s concerns.  “It’s an assault against liberty and the Constitution!” Criss said as he consumed a non-fat skinny latte at the local Starbucks.

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6 responses to “The 2012 NFFL Draft Order Selection Show

  1. I liked the commentary, you should bring them to the actual draft! (the “if you mess with that camera, I will crush you” look toward the end was priceless)

    • Ha! I think it is rather hilarious. Mason’s trying to guess the name, then saying I want to take a picture were classic. And yes, that was my “I will crush you” look! 🙂

      • Seth was laughing because he couldn’t believe you could do it with a straight face and I was busy waiting for you to crack with all of the funny things Mason was doing. You handled yourself very well Commissioner. 🙂

      • “The fourth pick will go to…”
        “Me?” said Mason.
        “The Golden Eagles, who is that?”
        I about lost it when he put his Pooh and train on the counter… 🙂

  2. Knickerbocker Beer? Puh-lease!

    Yet another fallacy promoted by the NFFL and its Commish. The team is from New Canaan. Obviously, we used wine and rolled around in $100 dollar bills. Then we played demolition derby with our Maseratis before heading to the evening polo match on the Chrebets Campus South Lawn #3.

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