Chrebets and Tortfeasors Advance to NFFL Cup

She Knows the Golden Eagles’ Pain

Workers Daily (New Canaan, CT) – The match-up for NFFL Cup VII is set after the New Canaan Chrebets and Slippery Rock Tortfeasors both won their semi-final games. The early game saw New Cannan tie the Golden Eagles 90-90. Pursuant to NFFL league rules, the higher seed advances meaning the top seeded Chrebets earned a ticket to the finals.    Ealges’ owner Tom “Nancy Kerrigan” Criss was inconsolable following the loss. “Why me? Why me? Whyyyyyy? It was a technicality! We should have had overtime? Whyyyyyy?” Criss wailed as he was led award from the post-game press conference podium.  “Some would say we backed into the Championship Game, I’d just like to tell those people to suck on my BPA free bottle and realize the regular season has meaning,” said Chrebets GM T-Dub Kristoph.

The late game saw the second seeded Slippery Rock Tortfeasors demolish the   plucky Monticello Cornish Hens 95-62.  “We had a grrat season and we go out with our heads held high.  Plus, we know the Tortfeasors are going to get rolled by the Chrebets in the final,” said a defiant Morgan “Iron Curtain” McNeill who served this year as the Hens’ defensive coordinator.  As he left the locker room Hens’ owner Tyler “Silver Bullet” McNeill noted he still had more NFFL Titles than Kirk Reams, so all was right with the world.   The mood in the Tortfeasors’ owner box was strangely subdued following the loss.  “This win is sweet. Like an early victory against the French in WWII.  I feel the next game will not be so easy, I fear it could be our Stalingrad,” said Slippery Rock owner Mike “Il Duce” Haire.

SLAP CHOP NFFL PLAYOFF SCHEDULE

#1 New Canaan Chrebets vs. #3 Slippery Rock Tortfeasors

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