WCTV (Tallahassee, FL) – The NFFL and Slap Chop announced today the two iconic brands had parted ways. Slap Chop was the sponsor of the NFFL’s Weekly Scoreboard which literally exposed the brand to tens of hits. “I don’t even know what or who the NFFL are or is. Are they singular or plural? Slap Chop has no idea, and we certainly don’t want our veggie slicing brand associated with some backwater fantasy football league,” said Slap Chop pitchman Vince Offer.
NFFL Finance Chairman Tyler “Daddy Warbucks” McNeill held a press conference at Tupelo’s Bakery to respond to the Slap Chop statement. Mr. McNeill noted Mr. Offer should “keep his dirty Yankee mouth shut” and “kiss another hooker.” The press conference concluded as McNeill flashed the deuces sign, grabbed a cinnamon roll, and sped away in a waiting mini van.
With the loss of Slap Chop the NFFL will look for a new sponsor. “We’re not going to rush the process. It will be well thought out, and we want to pick a partner who epitomizes what the NFFL really is. By the way, Slap Chop sucks,” Commission Bonfanti noted while on holiday in Antigua.