WTXL (Tallahassee, FL) – For the second straight month the NFFL was rocked by the loss of a sponsor. Subway, whose logo and name were used without prior consent, threatened legal action if the NFFL did not stop associating its brand with NFFL’s league standings. “An intern alerted us that the Subway name and logo were being used by the NFFL during a drunken game of Twister. She was out and inadvertantly ran across an article full of misquotes, hyperbole, and falsehoods,” said Subway general counsel Ham N. Turkey.
The loss hit the NFFL hard, and NFFL Finance Chairman Tyler “Daddy Warbucks” McNeill was in full crisis containment mode at the league’s palatial offices in downtown Monticello, FL. “Jared Fogle and Subway can pound sand. Publix Subs are far superior and they aren’t made by prisoners on work release,” McNeill noted while finishing off Subway’s classic BMT.
Commissioner Bonfanti was unavailable for comment due to being on league business in the Virgin Islands. He promised to address the loss of the league’s second major sponsor when he returned “time and permitting or course.”