West Roanoke Sentinel (W. Roanoke, NC) – The NFFL League Meetings held on a tiny island off the coast of North Carolina were rocked as Tom “Never Say Die” Criss filed a formal grievance with the league. The complaint alleges various inconsistencies during the playoff game between the Eagles and New Canaan Chrebets that ended in a 90-90 tie and resulted in the Chrebets earning a bid to NFFL Cup VII. “The Deed of Gift clearly provide for a one off where the challenge was accepted from a shell yacht club,” Tom “Spinnaker” Criss noted while wearing a sailor suit complete with dashing cap.
Commissioner Bonfanti suggested the two settle the dispute, as all good gentlemen would, with a game of beer pong. “Drinking games and fantasy football use the same skill set. I think this is a reasonable compromise to the dispute.”
The suggestion was met with disdain and quickly dismissed by the New Canaan Chrebets who left the league meeting and began Instagraming pictures of the NFFL Cup in exotic locales. GM T-Dub “Stuffed Crust” Kristoph also issued a statement which read in part “Tom needs to lay off the bath salts and give the sailor suit back to whichever toddler he stole it from. This ain’t yachting.” The press release went onto note “…the Chrebets are NFFL Champions, and you can have your shot at us in 2013. Until then, I need some warm milk and a change.” NFFL observers will watch the situation closely and anticipate it could come to a boil during the 2013 NFFL Draft.