NFFL Legal Offices (Tallahassee, FL) – The order for the 2013 NFFL Draft was selected this afternoon. After allegations of an edited video tape rocked the NFFL last season additional steps were taken to ensure the integrity of the draft order by having two NFFL staff members present for the blind drawing. Commissioner Bonfanti and the Special Assistant to the Commissioner, Joe “Powder Puff” Zollner were in attendance as the 10 team order was compiled. “The NFFL is about integrity, booze and foreign trade deals that may or may not stand up to the scrutiny of the WTO. The last thing we need are more scandals,” said Special Assistant Zollner as the final draft preparations were made and the Shoe Station bag inspected by an independent auditing company.
Shoe Station’s sponsorship of the draft show was evident at the production quality vastly exceeded last year’s hot mess of a draft show. “We’re thrilled to partner with Shoe Station and happy they threw some swag our way in the from of one sweet plastic bag,” remarked Commissioner Bonfanti.
The order for the 2013 NFFL Draft is as follows:
1. Slippery Rock Tortfeasors
2. Golden Eagles
3. Monticello Cornish Hens
4. Hilliard Flashes
5. New Canaan Chrebets
6. Southwood Dolphins
7. Lamont All Stars
8. Miccosukee Nimrods
9. Mootown Marauders
10. North Florida Seersuckers
When informed his franchise had been awarded the first pick Mike “Sue ‘Em Quick” Haire was speechless for a moment before exclaiming the first pick was “Like a dream come true for all oppressed people. Justice will be served this year at the hands of the mighty and righteous Tortfeasors!”
William “Baby Face” Kristoph, owner of the defending NFFL Champion New Canaan Chrebets was unimpressed. “It doesn’t matter where we pick, we’re gonna repeat!”