Jackson Bugle (Miccosukee, FL) – The Miccosukee Nimrods hunted down their second victory of the season as they bagged the Monticello Cornish Hens 118-100. “Some would say our team has been made soft by the cushy lifestyle they enjoy. Manicure Mondays, Wine Wednesdays, and limited practices throughout the week. Those people would be wrong, because we got our second W of the season!” said an ecstatic Bennett “Spatzle” Zollner during the Nimrods post-game press conference. “We are might men! Jager schnitzel and gravy for all! Und bier!” eclaimed owner Joe “Apfelstrudel” Zollner. The Monticello Hens refused to comment and will look to molt this disappointing performance against the Mootown Marauders.
Those very Mootown Marauders defeated the struggling Hilliard Flashes 98-67 to improve to 4-2 on the season. “Last week was not a good week for us, mainly because we lost but also because I broke a nail. This week, was much better.” said Kirsten “Geoff’s Puppet” Matthis. The loss was the Flashes fourth straight and saddled them with a league worst 1-5 record. “Our team has struggled and has not scored over 100 points all year. This of course means we’ll beat the first place Seersuckers in Week 7. I guarantee it or else I’ll refrain from walking the dog and petting the cat,” said Hilliard Defensve Coordinator Mike “Cadillac Man” Bandy.
In the oddest game of the week the North Florida Seersuckers chalked up their fifth win of the season with a 68-41 win over the New Canaan Chrebets. “Survive and advance. We did it at Antietam, Chickamagua and now New Canaan. This league is just about survival,” said Seersucker’s WR Coach Stanley “Norelco” Morgan. A testy Bill “Thin Crust” Kristoph refused to directly answer the media and channeled Jim Mora, Herm Edwards, and the ever popular Denny Green. “Playoffs? You play to win the game, but the Seersuckers are who we thought they were.” Wunderkind T-Dub watched the press conference from afar looking for his misplaced milkshake.
FOUR LOKO NFFL SCOREBOARD
BOJANGLES NFFL STANDINGS
|North Florida Seersuckers||5||1||0||.833||—|
|Slippery Rock Tortfeasors||3||3||0||.500||2|
|Monticello Cornish Hens||4||2||0||.667||—|
|Lamont All Stars||3||3||0||.500||1|
|New Canaan Chrebets||2||4||0||.333||2|