Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel (Milwaukee, WI) – The Mootown Marauders became the second franchise to capture two NFFL titles as they defeated the Southwood Dolphins 85-76 in NFFL Cup VIII. To add insult to injury the Marauders earned the title while fielding only eight players to the Dolphins nine. “We had this one in the bag from the opening kick off. Tate asked for a day off to go to the arcade, which I thought was reasonable, and it wasn’t like we were playing someone we feared,” noted GM Geoff “This Is Really My Title” Gonzalez.
As Gonzalez attempted to address the media he caught a punch to the throat and dropped to the ground gasping for air. The velvet gloved fist belonged to Kirsten “Putin” Matthis who pushed her GM aside with a pointed heel. “First off, to all the boys who tried to stop me this year, you are a pathetic bunch of under endowed weaklings. The real force in the NFFL wears Louboutins, a little black dress, and isn’t afraid to take what she wants. Deuces!”
The Southwood Dolphins suffered their second loss in the NFFL Cup and will have to wait another year to attempt to capture a title. “I thought we had a real chance at winning it all this year. Sadly it didn’t pan out, and we will have to try again next season,” said a resigned Seth Rubin as he boarded a local Tallahassee bus headed for Southwood.
The NFFL Cup will be retrieved in the coming week and taken to Tim “Magic Man” Yoho for engraving before being delivered to the Mootown Marauders’ team office.