Dolphins Canned

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Carlisle Mosquito (Carlisle, MA) – For the first time since 2011 the NFFL will have a new expansion team. The spot was made available by the disappearance of Southwood Dolphins’ owner Seth Rubin.  Following the second round playoff loss to the Mootown Marauders Rubin boarded a bus bound for Southwood and was never heard from again.

Due to lack of cell phone service in Nepal, Commission Bonfanti could not be reached for comment.  The NFFL office, however, issued a statement noting “It is with a heavy heart we have determined Seth “the Hammer” Rubin to be missing. We have valiantly attempted to reach out to him by text message and e-mail.  Our attempts have been unsuccessful, and due to the fast approaching draft, his NFFL franchise must be suspended. We of course will leave the door open for his return if he is found and reaches out to the League.”

Within minutes of announcing the suspension of the ‘Fins the league office was flooded by telephone calls by potential owners looking to become part of the NFFL. “I was trying to eat my chicken finger basket at the Brick House and all the sudden it blew up. Literally my iPhone overheated and exploded due to all the e-mails and phone calls. Crazy!” noted NFFL Director of Franchises Tyler “Macduff” McNeill.

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