Opelika-Auburn Times (Auburn, AL) – The Auburn Numbers, led by the digits wizard and mercenary accountant Andrew “Prime” Woodward, have joined the NFFL for the 2014 season. A throng of dirt road alumni rolled Toomer’s Corner chanting “Numbers don’t lie!” As the mob calmed down Woodward addressed his fans and noted “Statistically speaking all y’all in the NFFL have a 100% chance of an getting an ass whooping courtesy of my team.”
Commissioner Bonfanti was on hand for the ceremonies and was excited to be adding the coveted Opelika-Auburn market to the NFFL. “This marks our first expansion into the football hotbed of Alabama. We are excited about possible new sponsors and finally being able to eat good BBQ.”
The Numbers will compete in the Tagliabue Division in the slot slot recently vacated by the Southwood Dolphins.