2014 NFFL Draft Selection Show

NFFL Legal Offices (Tallahassee, FL) – The order for the 2014 NFFL Draft was selected this afternoon. Vice President of Draft Procedures, Kirk “Gobbler” Reams and Tyler “Rizzo is so Hot” McNeill conducted the blind draw in the Jefferson County Ivory Tower. “The NFFL is about integrity, class, avoiding sex-trade charges and winning. This draft order is 100% on the up and up. Otherwise, I would have a much higher pick,” said Reams following the conclusion of the drawing.

The order for the 2014 NFFL Draft is as follows:

1. Southwood Dolphins
2. North Florida Seersuckers
3. Des Moines Dopplebocks
4. Miccosukee Nimrods
5. Slippery Rock Tortfeasors
6. Monticello Cornish Hens
7. Golden Eagles
8. New Canaan Chrebets
9. Mootown Marauders
10. Hilliard Flashes
11. Lamont All-Stars
12. Auburn Numbers

When informed his franchise had been awarded the first pick Seth “Baby Got Back” Rubin beamed from ear to ear.  “This is a position everyone wants to be in. I’m pleased and this is the best moment of my life, even better than what happened that one day in the Burger King bathroom.”

Joe “Pierogi” Zollner, owner of the much maligned Miccosukee Nimrods was furious following the draft results. “How many years will the Commissioner earn the second pick? This is an outrage! I demand equality for all Poles!” he bellowed as he shotgunned his 9th beer of the morning.  A spokesman for the league responded to Mr. Zollner and noted the Seersuckers had the last pick in the 2013 draft.


2 responses to “2014 NFFL Draft Selection Show

  1. As usual, the draft is rigged by the Monticello mafia.

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