NFFL League Office (Monticello, FL) – The first week is in the books and the NFFL League Office is proud to present the inaugural NFFL Power Rankings. “Tastiest cheeseburger, hottest celebrity couples, and best use of chest hair in a public art piece, you can literally rank anything! It’s time the NFFL got a piece of the rankings pie,” said Andrew “Digits” Woodward.
The league office plans to release the rankings weekly “unless we get tied up with a major life event, or laziness sets in,” quipped Woodward as punched the publish button releasing the rankings for Week 1 onto the interweb.
NAPA NFFL POWER RANKINGS
|1||Fluffiest Bunnies||—||The rare case of a preseason favorite living up to the hype.|
|2||Coles Miners||—||This team just wins, annoys the rest of the league, and wins.|
|3||North Florida Seersuckers||—||Strong draft.Strong team. Have you been working out?|
|4||Canadian Beavers||—||Your guidance counselor was right after all. You’re average.|
|5||Auburn Numbers||—||More up and down movement than the stock value of an elevator company.|
|6||Mootown Marauders||—||Off to a good start but this may not end pretty.|
|7||Southwood Dolphins||—||This is a young, fast team with the front office skills of a baby cheetah.|
|8||Little Lebowski Urban Achievers||—||It’s going to be a long season, better have another White Russian.|
|9||Slippery Rock Tortfeasors||—||On the outside looking in, but not in a creepy way.|
|10||Golden Eagles||—||Losing builds character. At least that’s what losers say.|
|11||Miccosukee Nimrods||—||It’s time to start thinking long-tem. Perhaps knitting would be a better hobby?|
|12||The Jameistown Colony||—||Tough loss this week. Next week’s loss should be much easier to take.|