Miccosukee News 9 (Miccosukee, FL) – The Miccosukee Nimrods shook up the tight Gunsel Division with an unexpected 86-81 win over the Southwood Dolphins. “I don’t know why this is a shock. We never get any respect, but we are always there in the end. Don’t bet against the Polish!” said Nimrod’s Sporting Director Bennett “Kolach” Zollner. The loss drops the Dolphins to 2-2-1, one game behind the surging Colony. “Losing was not in the plan, but our odds of whooping Jameisontown is still 67.3%,” said Michael “Fisher” Rubin.
The Fluffiest Bunnies climbed back into first place with an emphatic 120-67 win over the mercurial Coles Miners. “I am not sure why the Miners played so poorly, also I set fires to feel joy,” said Lilly Okanakamura, PR Director for the Bunnies. There was no joy in Minerville as Miriam “Lock Box” Coles dismissed several members of the squad for “playing like ball sacks” and “refusing to woman up” when things got tough late in the third quarter.
In one of the longest running NFFL rivalries the N. Fla. Seersuckers defeated the Golden Eagles 102-76. Tom “Whambulance” Criss addressed the media following the team’s fourth loss. “I’m not saying the Commissioner is a dirty rat bastard cheater, but he’s not playing by the rules. My draft guides assured I would win the NFFL this year. It’s either I’m choking, or the NFFL is out to get me, and I vote for the latter.” The Eagles will attempt to take flight next week against the industrious Beavers.
FOUR LOKO NFFL SCOREBOARD
TARGET NFFL STANDINGS
|Slippery Rock Tortfeasors||0||5||0||.000||3.5|
|North Florida Seersuckers||5||0||0||1.000||—|
|Canadian Beavers||3||1||1||.700||1 . 5|
|Little Lebowski Urban Achievers||1||4||0||.200||2.5|