Monticello News (Monticello, FL) – The N. Fla. Seersuckers completed a historic regular season with a 105-66 win over the Mootown Marauders. The 13-1 records is the best all time regular season record ever compiled by an NFFL team. “It’s all about the process and match-ups,” said ‘Seers head coach Jimbo Fisher. “We got a lot of good break during the season, avoided injury, and whooped our arch rivals in the season finale. Now we’re looking to the playoffs.” Following the victory ‘Seers owner Mike “No Comment” Bonfanti, in the interest of marital harmony, declined to address the media. The result sets up a rematch between the Marauders and Seersuckers in the first round of the NFFL Playoffs. “We may have lost this week, but the playoffs are our time to shine! Plus, win or lose I’ll buy more fabulous shoes,” said Kirsten “Manolo” Matthis-Bonfanti.
The Fluffiest Bunnies defeated the Canadian Beavers 93-51, and coupled with the Marauders’ loss captured the Lombardi Division crown. Bunnies’ PR Director, Lilly Okanakamura celebrated the victory with a tall cold drink and announced all her teeth come from different people. No further explanation was provided and the media left the press conference feeling unsettled. For the Canadian Beavers, the loss plunged the team to a disappointing 6-7-1 records. “Honestly, I stopped trying after Week 7. I thought I had the league title in the bag, I was wrong,” said Sara “Poutine” Hart.
The Gunsel Division title was secured by the Southwood Dolphins following a scrappy 107-104 win over the Coles Miners. The ‘Fins are in the playoffs for the sixth time in seven years and hope to capture their first NFFL Cup. “We fended off a spirited challenge by the Colony, and look to knock off the Bunnies. Beating Bonfantis is what we do!” said a highly overconfident Mikey “Milk Drunk” Rubin as he freely gave out high fives to all passerbys on Apalachee Parkway.
FOUR LOKO NFFL SCOREBOARD
ZIPIT BEDDING NFFL PLAYOFF SCHEDULE
#4 Mootown Marauders vs. #1 North Florida Seersuckers
#3 Southwood Dolphins vs. #2 Fluffiest Bunnies
TARGET NFFL STANDINGS
|# Fluffiest Bunnies||9||4||1||.679||—|
|* Mootown Marauders||9||5||0||.643||0.5|
|x Coles Miners||7||7||0||.500||2.5|
|x Slippery Rock Tortfeasors||5||9||0||.357||4.5|
|# North Florida Seersuckers||13||1||0||.929||—|
|x Golden Eagles||7||7||0||.500||6|
|x Canadian Beavers||6||7||1||.464||6.5|
|x Auburn Number||4||10||0||.286||9|
|# Southwood Dolphins||8||5||1||.607||—|
|x Jameistown Colony||7||6||1||.536||1|
|x Little Lebowski Urban Achievers||4||10||0||.286||4.5|
|x Miccosukee Nimrods||3||11||0||.214||5.5|
# – Division Champion
* – Qualified for the 2015 NFFL Playoffs
x – Eliminated from the 2015 NFFL Playoffs